Steubenville Rape Case

Quick background for those unaware; two high school footballers in Steubenville, Ohio have been convicted of raping a girl at a party after she passed out; taking photos and video recordings as it happened (just in case they ever needed to prove to the world that yes; they are idiots). So; two assholes took advantage of an unconscious girl; they’re now convicted, case closed.

Well, not exactly. If you watch the American news coverage of the event you’ll notice something weird. You’ll get the obligatory tears and stories about how the life of the victim has been ruined. How they’ll never be able to recover from such an event. But unlike in most cases; they’re not talking about the rape victim, they’re talking about the rapists.

Because apparently the most important part of this story isn’t that two men, raised in a patriarchal society and believing that sex is a basic human right no matter what the other person says, raped a girl. The important part is that it has ruined their football careers. Read these direct quotes from CNN’s coverage;

“Incredibly difficult, even for an outsider like me, to watch what happened as these two young men that had such promising futures, star football players, very good students, literally watched as they believed their lives fell apart”

Yeah, and obviously they’re completely blameless. There is literally NO WAY they could not rape someone. It just happens, of course.

“what’s the lasting effect, though, on two young men being found guilty in juvenile court of rape, essentially?”

I dunno; prison rape?

“The most severe thing with these young men is being labeled as registered sex offenders”

No, the most sever thing with these young men is that when they see someone passed out they automatically assume that’s code for “I want your dick”

“That label is now placed on them by Ohio law…That will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Employers, when looking up their background, will see that they’re registered sex offenders. When they move into a new neighborhood and somebody goes on the Internet, where these things are posted, neighbors will know that they are registered sex offenders.”

Erm, yes. That is how the sex offender registry works. When you perform an indecent sexual act (such as, I don’t know; RAPING SOMEONE), you get put on a list. That’s kind of the entire point of it. Quite frankly; I don’t give a shit about the rapists in this situation. Tip for all aspiring athletes out there; if you don’t want to be labelled as a rapist; try not raping anyone.

This kind of thing seems to happen often in rape cases; people tend to blame the victim (if not completely then at least partially). Now you may try to deny this; but how many times have you heard people say the words “well she had been drinking” or “she was dressed like a slut” and use them to attack the victim? The “well she brought it on herself” mentality always confuses me. Especially when people say things like “well she had slept with a lot of people before; so she deserved it”. Put it this way; if you give money to shops, does that mean people have the right to rob you? Why not? You have shown you give money away before.

Most rape prevention campaigns say things like “don’t drink or wear short skirts”, they’re aimed at the women being raped. Surely a more truthful one would be; “Men; don’t rape”. Women should be able to walk about in short skirts and not get raped. The western world criticises the middle east for women wearing the Hijab, yet insist that our women should be covered head to toe to avoid sexual advances.

Main reason people say things like this though isn’t out of hatred to women; it’s because of the “Just World” fallacy. We have been raised on films which show that good deeds get rewarded and bad things only happen to bad people. So when something terrible happens the only way our brains can cope with it is by telling us that the victim deserved it. It makes us think that it would never happen to us. It’s not just in rape cases this happens; you see it all the time in any conversations about homelessness or unemployment. If somebody is homeless you assume they got there through negative life choices; the thought that maybe this person got thrown out of their house by their family just because they got to the age of 18 doesn’t occur to us. Go on any online discussion about unemployment and you will see people say things like “well they’re just lazy; should just get off their ass and get a job”. The thought that maybe this person CAN’T get a job is beyond them. It doesn’t conform to their blinkered view of the world. So basically; people are stupid, and they need to realise that.

Boohoo I’m Offended

Towards the end of this year Channel 4 partook in their annual tradition and aired Big Fat Quiz Of The Year. During the course of the show they made numerous jokes which wouldn’t be suitable for a young audience. But that’s fine; it was on after the watershed, so that’s not a problem right?

think again

Now surely it doesn’t matter if something is “a few seconds” or “an hour” after the watershed, as long as it is after the watershed? But still; they wouldn’t do an article over nothing would they? Surely lots of people complained? Well, no. According to OFCOM only one show received more than 10 complaints that week; and Big Fat Quiz Of The Year was not one of them. Since the original article The Mail have published FOUR ARTICLES about the show. It just seems like a desperate attempt to rile controversy. All it seems to have done however is cause more people to watch the show.

The latest article is the best one however. They admit to harassing the chairman of channel 4 on the phone and turning up at his house. It also constantly references Sachsgate and Mock The Week, just to shoehorn criticisms of the BBC in. The Mail were actually SO OFFENDED by the jokes in the show that they felt compelled to repeat them at least 5 times on the website, and link to a video of it. Because the ideal thing to do if you find something offensive is to share it with as many people as possible.

karate chopping your laptop would actually be more useful

It’s for this reason I don’t think they’re actually offended. They’re just pretending to be to cause outrage. If you’re truly offended by something then you just call the person who made the joke a fool, and then move on. You don’t repeat the joke. It’s like if someone accuses you of being racist you don’t use the word “fucking nigger” in your response to them.

even John Terry knows this; now

But let’s say they did find this show offensive. That whilst watching this show they were so angered and offended they just broke down into a weeping, angry mess; does it matter? You know the best cure for being offended; changing the channel. It’s cheap, easy to do, and it’s a lot less annoying than walking about crying and whining “waaaa, I’m offended, everything must be changed to suit my personal tastes”. And please stop with all this “won’t somebody please think of the children?” BS. If you don’t want your kids watching “offensive” tv then just don’t have a tv in their room. Is that really that complicated to do?

surprisingly; these aren’t the most reliable babysitters

It basically all boils down to a mix of two beliefs:

1. “Just placing your kids in front of a tv and leaving them there on their own for hours” constitutes as parenting.
2. Everybody has the right to walk through life without ever hearing something they don’t like.

Both of these are wrong, very very wrong. But I can’t phrase it as well as Stephen fry can; so here goes:

2012; The year the world went full retard

“2011 has been like one big end-of-season finale; a climactic episode in which multiple story arcs come to a head. It’s used up far too much news for one year. How can 2012 possibly compete?” well the answer to that turned out to be; stupidity. An almost endless cycle of stupidity. In the yearbook photo of life 2012 will be the one with a terrible mullet, spinach stuck in his teeth, and crying.

Costa Conf*ckup

Making the segue between the almost apocalyptic 2011 and the downright idiotic 2012 was the Costa Concordia, which sank near Tuscany at the start of the year. It was an event which would only be remembered as a massive tragedy if it wasn’t for two things;

1. The captain; Captain Schettino, who was responsible for the crash. He claims he wasn’t to blame but the general consensus is that if you turn off the navigation system alarms, change the ships route to sail closer to land, sit and eat dinner before making the order to begin evacuating passengers, get in a lifeboat and sail away before anyone finds out; it is kind of your fault. This did lead to an excellent phone call however, when one of the coast guards told the captain to “get the fuck back on board”
2. Some news outlets referring to it as “a real life Titanic”. Perhaps not understanding that the real life Titanic, WAS the Titanic. If a US president got assassinated would they refer to it as like “a real life JFK”?

“Oh my god! she’s like a real life Queen Elizabeth II”

Mitt-igating circumstances

US politician Mitt Romney was criticized after it was discovered that he put his pet dog on his car roof and drove for hours. His defence was basically; my dog likes fresh air. Good thing he didn’t win the election otherwise he might have celebrated by dropping a piano on someone because they like music.

Legitimate rape

Still in US politics; Todd Akin (Republican representative for Missouri) made a bid for “stupidest comment of all time” when he said the following in regards to pregnancies from rape:

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down”

So whenever somebody gets raped; they secretly wanted it, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. That is GENUINELY what he thinks. The weirdest part of that sentence is the “doctors” part. Which doctors is he going to and what are they showing him?

Stupid comments about rape seemed to be the general theme for US politicians this year. Tom Smith (Republican representative for Pennsylvania) compared rape pregnancies to pregnancies out of wedlock (a thought which has so many things wrong with it it’s amazing somebody would be stupid enough to say it).

Roger Rivard (Republican; Wisconsin) claimed that “Some women rape easily”. He claims he meant “some women get pregnant and then lie and say they were raped”. Yet to me it sounds more like “it’s very easy to rape some women; so try and find them”. I don’t really believe his side of the story; because if he truly meant what he says he meant; there are a thousand different ways to phrase it, and none would be as stupid.

Now since it was election year there were a lot of very stupid comments made; my favourite is people criticising Obama for encouraging people to go to college (it’s apparently snobbish). Although the advert saying “don’t vote for Romney; he speaks French” comes a close second.

A member of the Catholic church must have felt that “stupid comments about rape” were the Church’s domain and wrote a newsletter where he came up with a theory of the people who are really to blame for the sexual abuse taking place in churches; the children. They’re all seducing the priests apparently. So to summarise; kids are too sexy to not get abused.

It wasn’t just politicians and priests who made stupid comments about it; a 28 year old man who raped a woman at knifepoint (after forcing her to an abandoned warehouse) claimed he did it in self defence. Try, just try to see the logic in that. Cuz I got nothing.

PC Pleb

Whilst US politicians went about eating kittens and making ill-informed comments about rape, the main political scandal in England was a bit more subdued; an MP called a policeman a “Pleb” (or didn’t; depending who you ask). I stopped being able to pay attention to this story after the first week; it all seemed so childish and stupid. Plus; there’s so many better words than “pleb” to insult someone with. I suppose pastygate would also count; when the government decided that a pasty counted as a luxury item.

Jim; please stop fixing it.

Whilst we didn’t have a political scandal to match the US, we did have a scandal the likes of which US news media can only dream of; the Jimmy Savile scandal. A scandal which took up most of the spaces for the top twitter trends (if only because it seemed like everybody had their own way of spelling “Savile”). Nobody came out of this looking good; the BBC looked incompetent, the press looked like vultures, and Philip Schofield looked a prat when he decided to “accidentally” show a list of suspected paedophiles to a camera on live tv. I say “accidentally” because he has been working in TV for a very very long time, as such he surely knows how to hand over objects so the other side of them is not visible. So either he doesn’t know basic presenting skills (so should be sacked), or he purposely performed an action which slandered innocent people (in which case he should be prosecuted). It seemed like everybody had an opinion on this; a senior MP said it was disgusting that Savile was allowed access to patients at a hospital, but has stayed silent since it’s emerged that she was one of the people who ran the hospital at the time.

The weirdest reactions to this have been from the people who have targeted his families homes, spray painting the walls and damaging the doors. These people are aware that Savile no longer lives with his family aren’t they? It’s just mindless violence, lashing out against innocent people. Even if Savile was the most evil, vile paedophile to ever walk the face of the earth; his family should not have to shoulder the burden of his actions. They were his, and his alone.

Jesus fresco

Cecilia Gimenez achieved worldwide fame after attempting to restore a painting of Jesus in a church in Spain.

Now I not gonna call her stupid; she did something with the best of  intentions. I am going to criticize the church though; her “restoration” brought in so many people to the church that they started charging people to see it. They then got very annoyed when she asked them to donate the money to charity. As did other people; saying she should not receive any money and should instead be sued for damages and arrested. Let’s get it straight; she didn’t purposely destroy it and then demand money, she tried to improve it and only asked for money once the church started charging people. And she wasn’t asking for the money to go to her; she wanted it to all go to charity; and the church refused her request. Which isn’t very Christian is it?

Samantha Brick

Samantha Brick is a writer for The Daily Mail, and she wrote one of the most self centered, ridiculous articles of the year; in which she complained that the rest of the planet hates her for no reason than her beauty. She claims that she didn’t get promotions at work because her female bosses were intimidated by her beauty, and many of her friends have screamed at her in jealousy. The thought that maybe, just maybe, it’s something to do with her personality or work ethic doesn’t seem to enter her head. The reactions ranged from pure vitriol to outright pity. The worst part of it was the fact that these reactions just convinced her she was right. Instead of convincing her to actually think before speaking. But maybe she was right; maybe she is the most beautifully stunning person on the planet

orrrrr; maybe not. Yeah, definitely not. I’ve never seen someone combine the “i’m scared” with “i’ll eat your babies” look.

Kony Ice Cream

Not much to say here as I’ve already covered the important bits

• A video was made of Joseph Kony saying he employs child soldiers in Uganda and should be stopped. It didn’t mention how he should be stopped.
• The video because world famous
• It was then discovered that Kony actually hadn’t been in Uganda for over 8 years.
• People found out that almost all of the money donated to the people who made the video spent it on advertising instead of, you know, actually doing something useful.

Oddly enough this last little tidbit didn’t stop people taking the video seriously. People kept on taking it seriously until the creator of the video masturbated in public. The lesson here is; you can lie, deceive millions of people and exploit people for your own ends; but you can’t wank.

Essex Lion

A lion was spotted in Essex on 26^th August, sparking widespread fear and panic. After 31 officers and £3,600 worth of helicopters were sent out to deal with the situation they discovered;

 

 

it was just a cat.

#Susanalbumparty

If you don’t see why that’s silly; you are more mature than me.

It’s not the end of the world as we know it

A small selection of people believed the world would end this year; and no amount of proof and scientific evidence would prove them wrong. Nobody was sure how it would end; just that it would. Which was the best indication that they were all wrong. My best ones were the ones who (even the day before the world was going to end) were saying “a giant asteroid is going to hit the planet tomorrow”, as if scientists aren’t watching out for this type of thing. Plus, if it was going to crash into the planet; I think we’d see it.

this; did not happen

This story stops becoming laughable and starts becoming quite tragic once you realize that some people committed suicide because they didn’t want to die in the apocalypse; which is the equivalent of quitting your job before you’re sacked then finding out you were actually going to get a raise.

note; distinct lack of apocalypse

Fuel-crisis

It had been a while since the last fuel crisis so Cabinet Minister Francis Maude decided it would be a good idea to start one by saying there’s going to be a strike by the transport union so people should start storing lots of fuel in jerrycans. After going on google to find out what a jerrycan was people decided it would be a good idea to panic-buy fuel. Because the strike was obviously going to last for years and years and people would end up needing to kill for petrol so they could go on with their important deeds (such as going to debenhams to buy curtains). I’ve never understood people who panic buy fuel. They queue for hours and hours “in case a fuel crisis occurs” (meanwhile creating the crisis) to fill up buckets, then drive home and put it all in their garage and go “I’m safe”. You’re not safe; you’ve got buckets of petrol in your garage.

“they said i was crazy when i stored flammable material so recklessly; well who’s crazy now??? oh, still me”

So that was 2012; here’s hoping 2013 has a lot less stupidity.

Predictions for the next school shooting

1. The media will blame the usual targets.

The news has certain “go-to” things to blame after a shooting. These are

• Violent films
• Video games
• Rock music

 

surprisingly nobody has blamed morris dancing yet

In 2007 the media was rife with reports that Seung-Hui Cho (the perpetrator of the Virgina Tech Shootings) avidly played the first person shooter Counter-Strike. This led another debate on violence in video games, and how this is definitive proof that violent video games cause violence in people and should be banned. More research (read: actual research) showed that this was not the case however and he rarely played video games. This little piece of information (otherwise known as; the truth) stayed unreported.

“everybody was crying”. Well at least they got that part right

 

Similarly after Columbine the news was FULL of reports blaming Marilyn Manson; saying the killers were huge fans of his, obsessed with his music, to the point where it influenced them to massacre. Most people today still say Marilyn Manson was responsible in some way; it’s a hard thing for him to have to shake off. Yet when you look into it you find out the killers actually detested Manson’s music. Did the news do the responsible thing and apologise to Manson, saying they were wrong? What do you think?

here’s a clue

2. Here is a full description of the next suspect

• Between 15-25 years old.
• Not very popular at school
• Odd
• Isolated
• Kept himself to himself.
• Bullied

Of course sometimes the definition of odd will just mean “had a stutter so was very nervous when it comes to public speaking” or (in the case of the latest shooting) “had pens”.

3. People will use it to back up their politics.

These will range from the “related but weird” ones (“i think schools need more guns, this will stop shootings”) to the “are you mental?” (“this never would have happened if abortions were illegal/we stopped immigration/they didn’t cancel Firefly)

yeah i made that last one up

4. People will say stupid shit.

For example:

• “the reason this shooting happened is because there were too many women in that school”
• “it would have been stopped if a male janitor threw a bucket at the shooter. Or if a husky 12 year old converged on him”
• “20 school children got the greatest christmas gift of all; to be with jesus”
• ‘if we drilled it into young people that the correct thing to do is for everyone to instantly run at the guy with the gun, these sorts of mass shootings would be less deadly’

All of those have been said in the past week by the way; yeah, weep for humanity.

5. Logic will be defied.

After a shooting the news will start to interview people as to what caused it. After interviewing the important people (footballers, musicians, actors etc) they will then move onto the inconsequential people; the psychologists who have studied these things for their entire professional career. They will then say that to stop future shootings the news needs to do the following things

• Don’t mention the killers name. This will lead to fame and attention, which will inspire more.
• Related to the above; don’t print pictures of the killer.
• Don’t go into too much detail about how it was done; this is pretty much just like giving potential shooters a “how to” guide.
• Don’t point out the killer was isolated and bullied. This will cause children who are bullied to believe that things don’t get any better, they will always be treated like shit, so might as well kill everyone.
• Don’t lead the story with the number of victims.

All of these things will then be ignored, and more shootings will occur. Which brings me onto the next point:

6. There will be one

Make no mistake; this is not the last school shooting we will see in the US. Now I know some of you will just be sitting there going “yeah, and?” but truly, really think about it; there are parents in the US who send their children off to school everyday knowing there’s a chance they could be shot. In my lifetime there have been over 100 children killed in school. And that number will rise; there will definitely be another one, I am willing to bet on it. I hope I’m incorrect, but I fear I’m right.

News For Past Week (12-18 November)

A woman in Ireland died after doctors refused to give her an abortion whilst she was in the process of miscarrying; saying it would be illegal to kill the baby. So now there’s two dead bodies instead of one; nice going. The deceased woman had moved to Ireland from India in 2008, so obviously the Daily Mail reader response is pretty much “f*cking foreigners; they wouldn’t like it if we went over there and did things”. It’s almost as if they think she moved to Ireland 4 years ago with the intention of aborting a child. And surely it’s logical to think that doctors would save the life of someone who will die instead of risking both dying?

The Taliban accidently leaked their e-mail addresses this week when they sent out a press release but forgot to delete the previous addresses. Not sure what’s weirder; that they forgot to delete them, or that their is actually a Taliban mailing list.

“death to America; oh, and don’t forget the bake sale on monday”

Top chefs from around the world united this week against James Isherwood. What did James do to earn the wrath of seemingly a whole group of professionals? Gave a restaurant 3 out of 5 stars online. Seriously, that is all he did. And in return he got this:

“i think you’re a cunt”

“not welcome in any restaurant”

“smash him in”

Now normally news stories prompt questions,  but the only question this story prompts is; why aren’t their more serial killer chefs? They seem unbalanced enough.

Scientists in the US have announced they’ve developed edible deodorants. Great, now eating will replace washing. Sadly, no details are available on the calorific content so I have no idea whether people will end up saying “I would smell nice today but I on a diet”

The clocks changing does lead to some brilliant random events every so often; in the 90′s for example it led to terrorists setting off a bomb too early (these people are plainly idiots; yet we’re still scared of them?). This year it led to something even funnier. What can be funnier than stupid terrorists you ask? Simple; a drunk driver getting arrested twice at technically the same time in two different areas. Now I hope he was so drunk he forgot what happened; so he’ll wake up, look at the arrest details, and assume he’s a time lord.

ok not the best Time Lord

US election news next. We know what happened; the evil white guy lost and the mildly evil black guy won. The best news however came from Georgia (the US state, not the small European country) where 4,000 people ignored all the candidates available and instead voted for Charles Darwin. There’s something quite brilliant about a figurehead for atheists kind of rising from the dead.

Scientists in Japan have invented a 3d photo printing booth. My first thought when I heard this; “Finally I can make an action figure of myself. One step closer to being a superhero”

A farmer in China has claimed that diving helps pigs improve their immune system. Now I’m not going to make the obvious “the price of bacon will go down” joke; that’s below me. Instead I’m just going to hypothesise that footballers don’t dive to cheat, they use it as healthcare.

woohoo no Pneumonia for me

4 out of 10 women apparently have an uneasy relationship with their mother in law. So really the only problem with those “my mother in law so x” jokes is that it should be women telling them.

 

Jimmy Savile

Ok so I haven’t written anything in a while; I lost use of internet for a month and then when I got it back I couldn’t write. I tried doing something about the Jimmy Savile scandal but where do you start?

This story is the perfect story for newspapers though as it provides everything they want; innocent white blonde girls being abused, celebrities, a constant stream of nonfermation (stuff that seems like information but actually isn’t useful to anybody at all; yeah I invented a word; what of it?), and excuses to slander the BBC. Now I don’t wish to be unnecessarily crude here but it’s worth pointing out one vital piece of information; the BBC didn’t fuck any children. They hired someone who did but that doesn’t mean they themselves are responsible. It’s easy to say things like “well there were rumours so they should’ve sacked him”. Because we all know if it’s a rumour then it is definitely true.

Ok let’s pretend for a moment that everybody at the BBC was aware of what was happening and kept it all a secret since the 70’s; are we really supposed to believe that not a single newspaper journalist knew about it? Let’s face it; the press have a vested interest in this story. A lot of them want to see the end of the BBC. Especially The Sun and The Times. The more they go on about how it’s a failure of the BBC the better they look by comparison and the more likely we are to forget all the awful things they do, have done, and will continue to do.

Tomorrows Daily Mail headline?

Now obviously if he did do what he is accused of then he was a vile evil human being who should’ve been chemically castrated. But some of the comments people are making seem a little harsh and presumptuous. Comments like

 

“well I always knew he was a paedophile”

 

Did you, now? Well good for you. That means you must be some kind of brilliantly wonderful genius. And I’m so proud that you managed to keep your knowledge hidden until everybody else knew too. Well done.

This was genuinely the least dodgy looking photo I could find

“well of course he was a paedo; look how weird he looked”

 

Because as we all know; if you look weird you MUST be evil. That kind of attitude is why I find it hard to enjoy Roald Dahl books; he wrote in The Twits that people get ugly because they think ugly thoughts. Now as an, erm, “not aesthetically pleasing” child this kind of annoyed me. But it’s just a children’s book so you’d hope nobody would think like that in real life, yet they do. And this Jimmy Savile case proves it. In many people’s eyes if you look like a thug, stupid, etc; then you must be. People still cling to the notion that you can judge the character of a person by the way they look. It’s easy to see why; if you think somebody looks like a criminal and judge them as such then you feel free to insult them and you feel better about yourself. Now, occasionally this is useful. For example, if you see somebody holding a knife, standing above a dead body and they’re covered in blood and have a disembodied finger in their mouth it’s fair to say it would be acceptable to not let them look after your kids.

“he’s smiling honey, so he must know jokes. And he has a butchers apron on so should be good at cooking. Why not let him babysit?”

 

Now that last sentence was so poorly constructed I should probably leave it there.

News From Past Week (25th June-1st July 2012)

Motorists in France have to carry breathalyzer kits in their vehicles in a bid to cut down on drink driving. Now like all drink drive laws this one has it opponents. I don’t get it though. I don’t get the mindset of somebody who will say things like “I should be able to drive drunk if I want? And if kids and elderly people get run down….. well then maybe they should move faster next time”

Scientific research predicted that North Carolina could expect 39 inches of sea level rise by 2100. Now if this were true then the state would have to put in plans to make the state safer. They’d have to start investigating ways and doing research into how to avert the crisis. In the end they decided to……*dramatic drum roll*……make the research illegal. Problem solved.

Rupert Murdoch announced plans this week to split News Corp into two separate companies. Is it just me that hears this and thinks it sounds like the final boss of a game splitting into two to make it more difficult to shoot?

An explosion in Oldham has left a house destroyed and people trapped in their homes. I think it’s quite bad that when I first saw the headline my thoughts were:

“gas explosion? Isn’t that what they used as an excuse for magic explosions in Harry Potter?”

Controversy was courted this week when Israel held a beauty contest. Now I know what some of you are thinking:

“beauty contest in Middle East? They all wear burqas so what’s the point of that?”

And you’d be wrong (and not just because Israel is a Jewish state so don’t wear burqas. You racist). This was not a normal beauty contest; it was Miss Holocaust Survivor 2012. Nick Griffin and Iran however refuse to believe that the beauty contest exists and that it’s all a Jewish conspiracy. (That’s because they’re holocaust deniers; get it? F*ck you! You try making a better holocaust joke)

Reports have come out this week that state that Muslims are more likely to consider themselves British than white people. Ok that’s not true; the report actually said that minorities consider themselves more English. For some reason white people of any variety can’t be considered minorities. Now if you look at this story in the Daily Mail somebody pointed out that Muslims can be white. It says something about the “readership” of that paper that such an innocent and true statement could have over 300 people click the red arrow to downvote it.

see, told ya

Other “offensive to Mail readers” statements include:

“I perceive Britishness to be about old fashioned values, community, country, respect, honour, pride, strength and family. I am black, British and proud”

“As a Pakistani girl who came to England when I was 2, if all I have known is England and the English language for the majority of my life – what exactly would you like me to identify myself as?”

During the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression we all have to stick together and only spend money when we need to. Bare that in mind when I tell you that British tax payer funding to support Prince Charles rose by 11% over the past year. Somehow makes the jubilee a bit more difficult to enjoy.

“they’re giving us how much?”

Surveys show that 4 out of 5 people wants people prosecuted when banks break the law. I’m more amazed that 20% of people think banks should be able to break the law with no repercussions. They do realize that whenever a company breaks the law; there’s a person who decided that should happen? Banks are not their own entity; they are owned and operated by people. So if unlawful practices occurred; that’s because someone broke the law.

yeah i broke the law, but i work for HSBC so it’s ok

Schoolchildren in America are to be taught that the Loch Ness Monster is real. A quick note Americans; this is the world thinks you’re dumb. Because stuff like this happens and not many people kick up a fuss and/or mock it.

 

News from past week (18th-24th June 2012)

A woman in America has been put behind bars after police found out she kept her 10 year old daughter in a closet. Now I don’t mean “locking her in there for a few hours every day”. I’m talking complete Harry Potter situation, just worse; because at least Harry was allowed out to go a toilet (or so I imagine; in the wizarding world of Harry Potter it seems as if bathrooms and toilets are only used for duels and secret passages, as such she never mentions urination). Doctors say they were horrified to discover the girl only weighed 32 pounds, and had only gained 6 pounds since she was 4 years old. Now the usual reaction to this is “OH MY GOD THAT’S HORRIBLE!!!! BURN THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE”. My reaction; whispering to the person closest to me “is that bad? what’s the normal amount? I don’t know”. Now the girl was kept there for most of her life; so what special methods did the police use to find her? Surveillance? Undercover work? Standing near the closet and asking “is someone in there?”? Yeah it was the last one.

Jerry Sandusky was convicted of sexual abuse of children this week. Now if you’re american you probably already know this, but if you’re not then you’re reaction will probably be one more of “who?” Which is fair. Basically, Jerry Sandusky was a football coach at Penn State university. He also set up a children’s charity. Now THAT’S a committed paedophile; that way he can just pick the pretty ones. Now oddly enough the news coverage for this in the US didn’t focus on the important stuff (a vile evil person raping children) it focused on whether the head coach is responsible. The people who say he is slightly responsible point to the fact that he was well aware of what was happening as he was told in 2001 after someone walked in on a child being anally raped. Now when he heard this information he reported to the authorities……and then did nothing. Now you “could” argue that he did all he could, but those arguements are rendered moot by the fact that he didn’t really say anything for the next 8 years. Logic dictates that if you are aware that someone rapes children, you do EVERYTHING you can to make sure he never touches another child. Whether that means annoying the police until they do something, starting a campaign to oust him, or even just beating him to death violently. You don’t just sit about for years and do nothing. Although to me the most notable thing about this story is that Sandusky had an autobiography published in 2001. The title? “Touched- The Jerry Sandusky Story”. Is there a more inappropriately named autobiography out there? And once you start to read it it gets worse. These are all GENUINE QUOTES from his book:

“i thrived on testing the limits of others and I enjoyed taking chances in danger”

“i enjoyed pretending as a kid. And i enjoy doing the same as an adult with kids”

and that’s as well as numerous descriptions of hugging boys etc.

Jimmy Carr was discovered to have taken part in a tax avoidance scheme. Instantly David Cameron came out and described him as immoral. He refuses to comment however on the specific cases involving Tory donors. It’s almost as though he’s a hypocritical moron.

Egypt elected a new President this week; Mohammed Morsi. Fox news reported it like this:

“The similarities between Obama and Morsi are striking. Both come from radical political parties, and both have unfamiliar, foreign-sounding names. I’m sure President Obama has already called Morsi to congratulate him, one Muslim brother to another.”

First things first; Obama is not a Muslim you stupid P.O.S. There is not a single piece of evidence to suggest he is. People say that PROOF is that he was sworn in on the Qu’ran. He wasn’t of course; he was sworn in on a bible. So yeah; not a Muslim. So why do Fox say he is? Simple; because they hate Muslims, hate Obama, and Obama is black, so he can’t be a Christian. Secondly; ” a weird name” is not a similarity. The US has had presidents with weirder names than Obama:

• Millard Filmore (1850-1853)
• Zachery Tyler (1849-1850)
• Rutherford B Hayes (1877-1881)

But of course; they were white; so it’s fine

Nazi Video Game Players; F*ck Off

I recently came across a kickstarter page which made me lose my faith in humanity. For those who don’t know what kickstarter is; it’s basically an internet based “please please send me money so I can do this”. Usually used by musicians etc so they can make music. The higher the money you donate, the bigger reward you get. For example i’ll use the recent Amanda Palmer kickstarter, where for donating $1 you got a digital download of the album, and if you donated over $300 you got gig tickets, the album on cd, signed copy of an art book that coincides with the album etc. It’s basically a great idea for people to raise money to fund their ideas. Anyway; back on point. I was on one kickstarter page and the comments left on it said things like this:

“i hope you get cancer”

“an enemy of the west and a traitor to the land you live in”

“terrorist”

“dumb ass nazi cunt”

Holy crap!!!! What was she funding? She must have been raising money to pay for experiments in how to genetically engineer babies to have built in guns that shoot jews. The vileness aimed at her means she could only have been trying to make something truly evil and damaging to the world. So; what was she making:

“A video study into sexism in video games”

Really?

Really?

THAT inspired so much hate?

Seriously?

Ok I officially give up on the world.

First off; if you use the phrase “anyone who agrees with you should get raped and die of cancer” that demonstrates three things:

1. I don’t need to bother listening to anything you have to say
2. You’re never gonna get laid
3. You think cancer is an STD

Secondly; there is sexism in video games. You can’t deny it. The main character in 90% of games are male. When women are portrayed in video games it’s usually as walking sex objects, useless sidekicks who constantly need saving, or damsels in distress. Even games which feature women as main characters are usually fluffy and cutesey.

case in point; can you imagine ANY guys playing this game?

I can really only think of one strong, independent, and non sexualised female lead in games: Samus Aran; the main character in the Metroid games.

The counter argument to this usually falls into one or two characters:

1. Games are made for males so of course they have to appeal to them
2. Men in characters are usually musclebound and unrealistic so why should women be realistic?

Now to argue the first point: if you cut women out from videogames then you’re essentialy cutting out a HUGE chunk out of potential sales. To say that sexism sells is bullshit, you know the biggest selling console game of all time? Wii Sports. So no, you don’t NEED sexism to sell and to argue you do is like saying you need racism to sell movies.

The second point: Are you really saying men are jealous of Mario? Plus; there is a difference between “wish fulfilment” and “changing expectations”. Female characters are sexualised because male players want women to be like that. Male characters are witty and strong because…. well, because male players imagine themselves as that. Completely different approach. Besides; games like Call Of Duty aren’t sold based on the character. It’s just random guys who you control. Nothing special about them. Why, it could even be YOU!!!

Oh, and as a final point: the picture of Samus I had up there; google image search SECOND page. Wanna know what’s on the first page?

Ermm yeah; i’m not gonna say anything else

so yeah i was quiet for a while

Yeah i haven’t blogged in a while. So long in fact that it’s been difficult to write another blog without mentioning it somehow. The absence has been so long it would feel weird to just come back and write about something. The last time I went a long time without blogging I came back with one about the News Of The World shutting down. But nothing as major as that has happened since The Daily Mail refuses to do the decent thing and die. And it would be a bit weird to come back after a 2 month absence with something as mundane as “the england team are losing at football” or “it’s raining a bit”.

I was thinking of doing something for the Jubilee but I figured everyone would be fed up with that. Plus as much as it pains me to say it; I actually kind of liked it. It was pompous, overblown, and fantastically British. There are just two things to mention about it:

1) the cost

2) The fact that unemployed people were brought down to London to act as crowd control (unpaid). When this scheme was revealed the response was “yes we realise it was bad but it was a one off”. Which is good. Isn’t it reassuring that this won’t happen again for the next Diamond Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II?

I suppose I could have actually did a blog that focused on the personal for once. But I don’t really do anything that people would find interesting. I could do a blog about my favourite sandwich but I can’t see how I can stretch that out to more than 50 words. And that’s coming from someone who REALLY likes sandwiches (well, who doesn’t?).

So yeah, the only option left open to me was to think of a boring random blog topic and hope nobody would notice that I did an entire blog basically saying nothing.